Get your new year started right with these five tips for a better sex life.

1. Commit to “date night”

While I recommend once a week, that may not be practical for all couples. Date night doesn’t de facto mean “sex night.” It means getting out, just the two of you (no kids, no parents, no distractions) to focus and spend some quality time with each other…as grown-ups…as individuals…and as a couple. Devote some time to the issues/challenges you face together. Research shows that regular “date nights” can lead to more frequent “sex nights.”

2. Get Recharged

One in every two couples has a personal massager, a vibrator, and has incorporated it into their sexual play. Women who use vibrators have significantly more positive sexual function (i.e. more desire, better arousal and lubrication, and less pain). And more than 80% of men feel that vibrator use can enhance the sexual relationship with their partner. So, why not buy one, or buy a new one? At least get a fresh supply of batteries!

3.  Lube Up

Buy a personal lubricant and use it, even if none is needed! Recent studies show that couples using lubricant during sex actually have more sexual pleasure. Maybe it’s the act of putting the lubricant on, rather than the action of the lubricant itself, but it works to enhance one’s sexual experience. If you’ve been using a lubricant, try a new one, a flavored one, or an arousing one (unless you are menopausal or have very sensitive tissues, then the flavored, and arousing varieties may be too irritating).

4. Lend a Helping Hand

Do something for your partner that is totally out of character for you.  What does your partner hate doing? Is it vacuuming, doing the laundry, taking out the garbage? Try for something you seldom ever do, that will ease a burden on your partner, and even make him or her laugh. What you do may have no commercial value, but make sure it is valuable to your partner.

5.  Break Out of the Ordinary

Plan an erotic surprise for you and your partner. Most couples slip into a sexual rut, particularly in long-standing relationships. We all like variety and surprises. Planning an erotic surprise seldom brings the ridicule many anticipate that it will. Even if the gift is out of character for the giver or even a little out of context, that just makes it more of a surprise. Just do it! What you get in return may be the biggest surprise of all.

By making some of these small changes you’re sure to make 2014 your sexiest year yet!


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