At one time or another, we have all claimed to be too busy for something we simply didn’t want to do. Claiming to be busy has become an acceptable stock response to the standard greeting question, “How are you?” And being too busy is an easy excuse to not participate or contribute when invited. To some people, being busy makes them feel important, even worthy. And it’s no secret that the opposite of busy is a bad sign for some, maybe even indicating laziness.

There’s an internal prioritization calculation made when deciding how to spend precious time. The problem with using the “too busy” pronouncement is that it implies a ranking of options and a determination of which are more important. Would a mother ever admit she’s too busy to love her child? Or a true artist too busy to create? Of course not.

The bottom line is that if something is important, we make time for it. If a person decides that a healthy sexual relationship is on that list, it needs to be protected against other demands. That’s the idea behind a date night. It’s become a widely accepted concept for couples to protect their time together from things getting in the way. Not only does “date night” carve out time to devote to the partnership, it also sets a tone for the evening that’s relaxed and intimate.

If your sexual relationship is not what you want it to be, the first step may be to consider setting aside time with your partner – call it a date night – to stop the world and be together. When one person is routinely too busy or too tired to be at their best in a relationship, it begs the question of what’s important. And being too busy to get busy speaks volumes about a change in priorities.

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