Neither men nor women have to orgasm to experience pleasure during sexual intercourse. Communication is the key to discussing sexual pain and dysfunction with the partner.
Women who have a low libido can get FDA-approved treatments. If she has sexual health issues, it is recommended that she see her primary care provider (physician/gynecologist/internist). We encourage women to move past any shame or guilt about this condition. There is help and expert advice for women in all stages of life fromperimenopause, post-menopause, and hormones, to sexual function. Dr. Simon is available for a telemedicine consultation. He has helped many patients!
A new sexual wellness device is revolutionizing women’s sexual health care. It’s not a vibrator exactly (but it does vibrate). A vibrator stimulates the clitoris directly or indirectly through vibration and pulses (that’s why it’s called a vibrator). Fiera is different. Fiera is a self-adhering clitoral vacuum that increases blood flow to the clitoris, and also vibrates in several modes to stimulate sexual arousal and increase the likelihood of orgasm. Fiera is ideal for women who need a little help to jump start their sexual pleasure, arousal and orgasm experience. It was designed to “level the playing field” since many women require much more stimulation and time to orgasm than men. The device has adjustable speeds and is small enough that it can be “worn” during sexual intercourse or without a partner.
Sexual Desire
Sexual desire and function are a vital part of quality of life and general well-being during a woman’s life cycle, and continues to be important during midlife and beyond. However, the changes that occur during menopause and with aging can inhibit sexual function or at least slow it way down. The natural decline in estrogen and testosterone levels that occurs during perimenopause/menopause and with aging has been shown to negatively impact blood flow to the clitoris and other “erectile tissues” in women, affecting engorgement as well as vibratory sensation. This, in turn, can decrease genital arousal during sexual activity and decrease overall sexual satisfaction. But there is hope with devices such as Fiera, which offers a resurgence in sexual activity when desire or function begins to wane.
The Science Behind Fiera
To learn specifically how Fiera works to helps women to achieve sexual satisfaction, a team of scientists and engineers studied thermographic imaging of the external genitalia. Skin tissues that are warm have more blood flow than tissues that are cool or room temperature. Changes in blood flow can then be assessed when associated with sexual activity. Thermographic imaging documented markedly increased blood flow to the clitoris and surrounding areas which persisted for 10 minutes immediately following removal of Fiera. Patients used the device for up to 15 minutes or until the time they achieved orgasm. They described their experience as a pleasurable feeling of warmth, tingling, or fullness in the genitals. To date, there has been limited information quantifying the degree of genital engorgement produced by products like Fiera that incorporate either vibration and/or clitoral suction. The time to onset of sexual arousal with such products is significantly shortened, bringing into greater equilibrium her response time and his.
Have Questions?
Feel sexy again. You deserve it. Experiencing sexual satisfaction can spill over to other areas of one’s life so it is important to keep your sex life going. If you are having sexual function issues and would like to discuss your options, or would like to learn how Fiera can help you, please call our office at 1 (202) 293-1000.
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The postcoital feeling of deep connection, known as the “afterglow” is something couples can rely on to continue for a long time after the actual sexual encounter, according to a new report. The title, “Quantifying the Afterglow” published in Psychological Science, may sound like scientists are breaking it down beyond an emotional and physical connection, and although it is, that warm feeling (aka “the warm fuzzies”) is also physiological and has an evolutionary purpose—strengthening pair bonding. When the sex act concludes with fireworks (i.e., orgasm), how long do the sparks reverberate? Researchers sought to find that out by looking at data of two studies on newlyweds.
Spouses reported their daily sexual activity and sexual satisfaction for 14 days and happiness in marriage at baseline and 4 or 6 months later. It turns out that sexual satisfaction remained elevated about 48 hours after sex, and spouses experiencing a stronger afterglow reported higher levels of marital satisfaction both at baseline and over time.
Sex is Romantic, but also Scientific
Fast forward from being newlyweds to new parents. Overwhelmed, the new dad is tired, the new mom sore from nursing and may not feel like being touched after putting the newborn down to sleep. Those precious few hours before the next feeding might be needed for sleep or alone time. The amount of sexual intercourse that the couple took the time to have to create their baby, may come to a slow-down if not an all-out stopping point for a while. What’s a couple to do? Discuss. Then schedule sex.
Hilda Hutcherson, MD, a Columbia University assistant professor of obstetrics and gynecology and mother of four, said, it’s critical to just do it. Your physical connection, she says, bolsters your emotional connection: sex releases endorphins, the feel-good hormones, and also oxytocin, the bonding hormone new parents have, promotes feelings of trust and devotion.
Make sex a priority as important as working your 9-to-5 job, getting out for a date night, and keeping up with the bills. Keeping love-making a priority can remind the tired couple why they are together in the first place, and if they can manage to hold on to that “afterglow” feeling for a bit longer each time, the new phase of parenting life may be more enjoyable and less stressful.
Talk it Out
Are you both on the same page? Maybe not, but talking about the feelings and expectations you are both having, now that your family life is different is critical. Maybe your sexual yin and yang are off balance. By being honest about wants and needs, you may be able to get to a new place. Touch each other through non-sexual moments through-out that day to let each other know, “Hey I’m still here” even if you don’t want to have sex in the same way or as often as you once did. And who knows, the more “you” put yourself out there, the honest ideas you are having, could lead to deeper discussions, more fulfilling interactions, all of which strengthen relationships. Once the infant is on a sleep schedule, sex may get back to the way it used to, and if not, keep talking, keep touching, keep an open mind.
Later in Life
Remember those newlyweds? They’ve been married 20 years and have a kid in college. Their sex life should be as important as it ever was, even with the changing bodies as they age with grace. The new normal may be extra foreplay along with lubricants, moisturizers or other enhancements to make the sexual experience more enjoyable for both partners. The pair bonding that the couple enjoyed in the early marriage may still be going, if the couple was able to challenge themselves and each other during the other phases of life so that they can enjoy another “new normal” during this vibrant time of their lives.
